Odds are at some point in your life you have heard of the concept of “self-harm.” This concept may bring up a variety of thoughts, emotions, images, connections, and responses for people. For some, it may be difficult to understand and hard to empathize with. For others, it may be taboo or carry elements of shame. It may be that you think of someone who is “totally nuts” or “crazy.” Or, it may seem normal and even understandable. Whatever the association may be, it is important to demystify the motivations behind self-injury in order to begin disrupting the growing trend of such behavior.
March 1st is observed annually as Self-Injury Awareness Day (SIAD). The intentions behind this day of awareness are to bring attention to the reality of self-injurious behavior, reduce stigma, and encourage those struggling to seek help. Self-injury, often used interchangeably with the term ‘self-harm’, is also known as non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI). It is important to make this distinction as not all self-injury is done with the intent of suicide. In fact, many individuals who engage in self-injurious behavior do so as a coping mechanism to manage emotional pain, distress, or overwhelming feelings as an alternative to suicide. Unfortunately, misconceptions about self-harm can prevent individuals from seeking the support that they need. The key in addressing self-injury is understanding that it is a physical manifestation of an internal pain.
By raising awareness of the why behind self-injury, we can foster more compassionate conversations and ensure that people struggling with self-injury have access to proper support and appropriate resources. Ultimately, the goal is to understand the why so that we can move closer to understanding how we can help it stop. In this article, we will explore the reasons behind self-injurious behavior and its prevalence, as well as coping strategies that can help replace self-harm with more constructive emotional regulation techniques.
Understanding Self-Injury: Why Do People Engage in It?
Definition and Common Forms of Self-Injury
Self-injury refers to the deliberate, self-inflicted harm to the body without suicidal intent. People engage in self-harm for various reasons, often as a means of coping with emotional pain or psychological distress. While cutting is one of the most recognized forms, self-injury can take many other forms, including:
- Burning (using heat or chemicals to create burns on the skin)
- Hitting or punching oneself or objects to cause bruising
- Scratching or picking at the skin excessively to cause wounds
- Hair-pulling (trichotillomania)
- Interfering with wound healing to prolong pain or scarring
Self-injury is more common than many people realize, particularly among teens and young adults. According to research:
- Approximately 17% of people engage in self-injury at some point in their lifetime.
- Between 10-25% of adolescents report engaging in self-harm behaviors.
- Self-injury is most prevalent between the ages of 12-24 but can affect individuals of any age.
- While both men and women self-injure, women are more likely to engage in cutting, whereas men may engage in hitting or burning themselves.
- Studies suggest that individuals with a history of trauma, anxiety, depression, or borderline personality disorder (BPD) are at a higher risk of self-injury.
Why Do People Self-Harm?
Self-injury is not a sign of weakness or attention-seeking behavior; it is often a deeply personal and private act that serves as a coping mechanism. Often times, if a person doesn’t know how to appropriately cope with their thoughts and emotions, they get creative with their methods. Think of it this way: It’s laundry day and you have nothing to wear. You’re desperate. So, you end up getting a little creative—perhaps a mismatched combo and a missing sock– in order to get the job done. Self-harm, while not an ideal coping mechanism, is often utilized in situations where the individual is either unable or unwilling to appropriately manage what they’re experiencing. So, they get creative out of desperation. Some of the most common reasons individuals engage in self-injury include:
- Emotional Regulation: Self-harm can provide temporary relief from overwhelming emotions such as sadness, anger, anxiety, or numbness.
- Coping with Trauma or Past Abuse: Many individuals with a history of trauma use self-injury as a way to regain a sense of control over their emotions or body.
- Expression of Distress: When words fail, self-injury may become a way to express inner pain that feels too difficult to verbalize.
- Self-Punishment: Some individuals engage in self-harm as a way to punish themselves due to feelings of guilt, shame, or low self-worth.
While self-injury may offer short-term relief, it does not address the root causes of distress and can lead to a harmful cycle that is difficult to break without support.
Breaking the Cycle: 3 Strategies to Replace Self-Injury with Healthier Coping Skills
Healing from self-injury takes time, but there are effective coping strategies that can help individuals manage their emotions in safer, more constructive ways.
1. Grounding Techniques to Stay Present
Grounding techniques help shift focus away from distressing thoughts or urges and bring awareness back to the present moment. These strategies are especially helpful during intense emotional episodes when the urges to self-injure are strongest. Some grounding techniques include:
- 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This sensory awareness exercise can help interrupt self-harm urges and create a sense of calm.
- Holding an Ice Cube: The cold sensation can provide a physical distraction without causing harm. Some people find this technique helpful in soothing distressing emotions.
- Snapping a Rubber Band on the Wrist: This method can provide a mild sensory substitute that mimics the sensation of self-harm without long-term damage.
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Clenching and relaxing different muscle groups can help release built-up tension and provide relief.
2. Creative Expression & Emotional Release
Engaging in creative activities can be a powerful outlet for emotions, providing a safe way to express difficult thoughts and feelings. Some effective creative coping strategies include:
- Journaling: Writing down emotions, thoughts, or even unsent letters to oneself or others can help process emotions in a non-destructive way.
- Drawing, Painting, or Coloring: Artistic activities provide an alternative form of emotional expression when words feel inadequate. You can even rip it up afterward if you need more of a release.
- Listening to or Playing Music: Music has been shown to regulate emotions and provide comfort. Creating a playlist that matches or alters one’s mood can be beneficial.
3. Building a Support System & Seeking Professional Help
Breaking free from self-injury is challenging, but no one has to do it alone. Seeking support from trusted individuals can make a significant difference. Helpful steps include:
- Talking to a Trusted Friend or Family Member: Opening up to someone understanding and nonjudgmental can provide emotional relief.
- Reaching Out to a Therapist or Counselor: Professional therapy, such as Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) or Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), can help individuals develop healthier coping skills. Therapy modalities like EMDR can help individuals address the core issues that are influencing their behavior.
- Utilizing Crisis Hotlines and Online Support Groups: Many organizations offer confidential, 24/7 support for individuals struggling with self-injury.
How to Support Someone Struggling with Self-Injury
If you know someone who self-harms, it’s important to approach them with empathy rather than judgment. Remember, the decision to turn to self-harm is one made in moments of desperation. Approaching them with openness and the desire to understand will yield better results than accusations or interrogation. While the main goal remains getting the self-harm to stop, there must first be understanding about why it’s happening in the first place. If a loved one or someone you know engages in self-harm, gently encourage them to seek out help through a trusted professional so that they can get equipped with the tools needed to stop the habit once and for all. When in doubt, respond with love and encouragement.
What to Say to Someone Who Self-Harms:
- “I’m here for you. You’re not alone.”
- “I may not fully understand, but I want to support you.”
- “You deserve kindness and healing.”
- “I think I may know someone you could talk to about this”
What NOT to Say:
- “You’re just doing this for attention.”
- “You should just stop.”
- “You have nothing to be sad about. You’re just making it worse.”
Moving Forward in Healing
Self-Injury Awareness Day serves as an important reminder that self-harm is a sign of distress, not a cry for attention. While self-injury may provide temporary relief, it does not address the underlying emotional pain. By promoting awareness, education, and access to healthier coping strategies, we can help individuals find safer, more constructive ways to manage distress.
Healing is not linear, and recovery takes time—but it is possible. Whether through grounding techniques, creative expression, or seeking support, there are ways to replace self-harm with resilience and self-compassion. If you or someone you know is struggling, know that you are not alone—help is available, and healing is possible.
